Fat Glitter
by BGWhovian
Summary: The greatest match of all time! TEST vs FROST!
1. Introducing

**Fat Glitter**

**Introducing**

**(Chapter One)**

Commentator Bitch: "We are live here at _FatLife Stadium_! Over 100 thousand people have gathered here tonight to witness the collision of the two most weird and disgusting freaks walking on God's green Earth!"

A stadium, full of excited and blood-thirsty sick-minded sorry excuses for humans, is waiting for the two legends!

The F.R.O.S.T. granny (**F**at **R**eally **O**ld **S**melly **T**rain granny) and T.E.S.T (**T**he **E**dward **S**parkling **T**roll) are expected to go over the limit and make history in Tolbuhin's very own _FatLife Stadium_! The F.R.O.S.T. granny is a character from one of my previous fanfictions, so I'm not going to explain who she (it) is.

On the other hand we have T.E.S.T., who is a brand new character! Most people are unfortunate to know about the movie _Twilight_ where there's a vampire called Edward, who has gay bitchy sparkling skin. So in order to troll _Twilight_, the character T.E.S.T. was created! He is literally a troll, an extremely hairy troll, whose body hair sparkles and repels every living thing around him.

Commentator Potato: "Tonight we will experience a once in a lifetime four-round match! The first round will be an eating competition, but it won't be regular food they'll be eating… They are going to eat fresh donkey anuses! Whoever eats more anuses wins the round!"

Commentator Bitch: "Can't wait to see that, Potato! And that is only the first round! The second one will be an _I Shit Match_, where you have to make your opponent crap inside the ring in order to win! There will be a special-guest referee for that match… **F**at **B**us **W**oman!"

Commentator Potato: "Wow! That match is going to squeeze the shit out of some people! After that we're going to have a fart competition! Whoever farts more creatively wins!

Commentator Bitch: "We're going to smell what the FROST is cooking! Get it?"

Commentator Potato: "Nice one, Bitch!"

Commentator Bitch: "Thanks! And the final match will be a _Vomit Match_! In that match you have to disgust your opponent using only your own body until he vomits!"

Commentator Potato: "It's going to be an exciting and unpredictable night, Bitch! Who do you think is going to win?"

Commentator Bitch: "Well, they are both equally bizarre and ugly! But I'll bet 50$ on the F.R.O.S.T. granny!"

Commentator Potato: "Why?"

Commentator Bitch: "Because she's fat!

_ I want to thank my betas __AUM __(AlTeRnAtE-UnIvErSe-MaStEr) and slashheart__ for inspiring me to write this crap, and I shall continue doing so!_


	2. Let the War Begin

**Fat Glitter**

**Let the War Begin**

**(Chapter Two)**

Boom! The F.R.O.S.T. granny's music hits:

_If you see me comin' your way  
__Better give me plenty__ of__ space  
__If I tell you that I'm hungry  
__Then won't you feed my fac__e_

_ […]_

There she comes! Fatter than ever! Smellier than ever! Older than ever! Bigger than life (literally)!

Commentator Potato: "Look how slowly she's approaching the ring!"

Commentator Bitch: "Right now I'm looking at the craters she's leaving behind her! Wait, what's this?! T.E.S.T. is looking for a cheap shot! Oh my god! He just hit her with a truck!"

Commentator Potato: "I don't think she even felt it!"

Commentator Bitch: "Well, T.E.S.T. obviously felt it! Just look at the poor truck!"

Commentator Potato: "Doesn't look like a truck anymore!"

F.R.O.S.T. granny continues walking like nothing has happened. Well, she didn't really see or feel it… She enters the ring and fills it with her fat. T.E.S.T. hardly escapes what used to be a truck and unluckily falls into one of the Granny's craters. Right before hitting the bottom he opens his unibrow and uses it as wings to fly up. Amazing! He flies into the ring and looks deeply into his opponent's big fat greasy eyes, which looked a lot like hamburgers (after reading this the F.R.O.S.T. granny ate her eyes, but that's after the story).

Announcer: "Ladies and gentlemen, this is the first official _Donkey's Anus Eating Competition_! After the bell rings the competitors have ten minutes to eat as many anuses as they can! Whoever eats the more anuses will win the first round of this unique four-round match!"

An old man, pulling a donkey with four buckets tied to it and a bandage on its ass, approaches the ring. The donkey is crying. The old guy puts the buckets in front of the competitors and reveals the anuses uncovering them.

The bell rings! F.R.O.S.T granny starts eating very slowly, which is extremely unusual for her! She puts the first anus in her mouth and chews it aloud. Disgusting juice starts flowing from that smelly brown thing!

The Granny: "Why anuses?! If it were donkeys I would have eaten a million of them by now! This is too disgusting even for my standarts!"

T.E.S.T. is thinking of a loophole while looking at the Granny. After five long minutes (the halftime) he finally figures it out! That smart troll starts pulling his hair out and packs the anuses with it. This way he eats a whole bucket (despite his hair being sweaty and smelly) and to brag he slaps his sparkling hairy ass right in the F.R.O.S.T. granny's face… and accidentally farts, which completely knocks her out!

The ten minutes pass and T.E.S.T. wins the first round!

Announcer: "The winner of this round is T.E.S.T.!"

Commentator Potato: "Wow! That was just brutal… Bitch? Bitch?! Well, ladies and gentlemen as you can see my partner here has died. Don't worry we'll find someone to take his place!"

What a shame… Oh well, who cares about him anyway? The important thing is that the Troll won! To celebrate, he takes the buckets with all the anuses left inside and pours them in the unconscious granny's mouth!

_That was only round one folks! Expect three more soon!_


	3. Dat Ass

**Fat Glitter**

**Dat Ass**

**(Chapter Three)**

After a long wait, for the competitors to recover from the first round, it's time for the _I Shit Match_! And there's a new commentator… Batman Bin Cyberman! (BBC)

BBC: "Hello, ladies, gentlemen and children of all ages!"

CP (**C**ommentator **P**otato): "Welcome, Batman Bi…"

BBC: "Shut up, you piece of donkey's anus! Just keep your damn smelly brown hole, you grandfather-fucking potato!"

That minor insult seemed to have upset CP as he left his position with a grumpy face.

BBC: "Grumpy your face out of here as fast as you can, you son of two fathers!"

Well, that interesting conversation gave even more rest time to FROST-G and TEST.

BBC: "Are you ready for the very first _I Shit Match_!? In this match whoever shits in the ring loses this round! The size of that brown turd has to be at least 1x1 cm, otherwise it wouldn't count and the match would continue! And to make this match even better there will be a special guest referee… THE **FBW**!"

There she rolls! The FBW enters the ring while eating what's left of CB (**C**ommentator **B**itch) and smiling as she was promised all the turds this match produces. They shall be given to her fresh and warm, served in a nice big tank, with black pepper of course! TEST comes in next with his sparkling underwear… oh, that's his ass! This guy needs to see a doctor! Suddenly the FROST-G comes out of nowhe… everywhere and attacks TEST. Oh the pain! She threw her ass right at TEST's face and knocked him down on the mat. He quickly used his armpit hair by wrapping her foot and pulling it; FROST falls! Unbelievable! Her infinite weight finally met its match – TEST's hairy armpits! TEST climbs that huge monstah, puts a Bulgarian flag on top and wraps her whole stomach! The power! The unbelievable strength of his hair! He is trying to squeeze the shit out of the Granny! Her ass is beginning to make a funny dance. Oh my god! She farted! But how is everybody still alive? Oh, it's the FBW! She ate her mother's fart! Unfortunately for TEST the fart broke the hold and sent him to the other side of the stadium! All this shit for nothing! (Get it?)

Great Scott! The FROST-G is trying to get up! She did! She got up! And there's a hole leading to China right where she was lying! But China isn't even under Tolbuhin?! TEST is unconscious at the other end of the stadium. The Granny is gaining speed; she's running straight to him! Seconds before the collision she turns around and her ass hits TEST's whole body which causes a chain reaction; TEST's hairy ass shoots out a sparkling 30x154 cm turd out, but they're not in the ring! He turd must be in the ring… But wait! It's still flying! Dear crappy-headed rulers of the world! It landed right in the ring! FBW is calling for the bell! The match is over! FROST-G wins this one!

BBC: "… The fuckin' shitty hell did I just see?!"

Now it's time for FBW's meal! Two unimportant men put a tank in the ring with TEST's turd in it! And right next to the tank is a huge bottle with black pepper! Look out! The FROST-G is celebrating and she can finally shit at will! So to thank her daughter for being such a fat referee she sits on the tank and produces the biggest turd known to mankind!

BBC: "Well, I'm officially blind, ladies and gentlemen! I'm certain that most of you are too! The ones that aren't blind must be dead! I have no idea how we are going to survive the oncoming two rounds!"

The FBW is covered in brown! She can't have enough of that turd that keeps growing! And she is setting a world record; an infinite thing is eating another infinite thing! Oh my turd, she ate it! It's a good thing that only the most perverted sick freaks of the world were gathered in the stadium to watch this event, otherwise most of the audience would have died a couple of times by now!

_ That's enough crap for now, don't you think? Expect the 4__th__ chapter soon!_


	4. If You Smell

**Fat Glitter**

**If You Smell**

**(Chapter 4)**

BBC: "It's almost time for the Fart Competition! It's completely obvious who's going to win that one, but we it will still be interesting to watch! The rules are simple: Whoever farts louder and smellier wins! The creativity of the sound is a bonus!"

So this will be a typical Fart Competition, we've all done this at one point in our lives, admit it!

BBC:" Here comes the Granny! But where's TEST? Oh, he's… riding her. They entered the ring!"

FROST starts the match with a heart stopping fart! It's literally heart stopping! TEST's hair is blown away!

BBC: "I can't see anything! What the hell is going on?! Everything turned brown! I think a volcano erupted!"

The crowd is going wild! They're dying one by one!

BBC: "It's the end of the world as we know it! I can't… there's hair in my mouth…aahg…"

What the…!? The air is starting to clear up and a ventilation noise is heard. After all the dust has settled and all the smoke has cleared… In the middle of the ring is standing a weird creature with a big-ass slimy moustache on his face!

BBC: "Oh my god! The moustache shaved, I mean, saved us!"

There wasn't much left to save, but OK. It's now time for TEST to fart. Oh, crap! TEST has diarrhea! It's starting to leak out of his asshole! Good thing that the moustached guy… hmm… The Big… Fuzzy… Face… Larva! BFFL! I should probably continue… The BFFL is trying to block TEST's arse from laying the shit down all over the stadium! Fuck! The Granny is getting ready to fart again!

*KABOOOOM!*

Both TEST and BFFL are almost dead on the ground, breathing heavily. While the FROST granny is celebrating by eating TEST's diarrhea .

BBC: "Well, as I said earlier, the winner is obvious… Oh my god, I can't breathe properly! My lungs probably turned brown!"

Well, now TEST and FROST are 2 on 1 for TEST. (In the previous chapter I made a mistake: TEST won, because his turd landed in the ring, not FROST's.)

_ Brace yourselves for the final chapter!_


	5. What the

**Fat Glitter**

**What the #$%**

**(Chapter Five)**

BBC: "We are back here, live at _FatLife_ stadium! This is the final round! 94% of the audience is dead, and I'm 50 % dead but I believe we can survive this last one!"

All those craters and broken machinery are covering what used to be the best stadium in the world, and it's being prepared for probably its final use. BFFL is helping mop the floor with his moustache, which accelerates the clean-up. The FROST Granny is backstage without any chance of winning this; it's a draw or a win for TEST, who at this moment is waxing his endless body hair. Just the thought of losing this round and evening the score is eating him up from the inside.

Both competitors are tired as crap and just want this to end as fast as it could, with them victorious.

BBC: "I am joined here by the legend, Boss! His servants are bringing him a golden desk and a small inflatable pool filled with oil."

That Boss, always with his oil pool! He just loves to soak his fat arse in oil!

Boss: "Sorry for coming late, what did I miss?"

BBC: "Oh, nothing much… You know…"

BOSS: "Shut up! The match is starting!"

Boss elegantly slides his fat naked body from the commentator chair in the air, does a backflip in the air (or should I say "a fatflip") and lands in his gigantic oil pool right next to the ring.

BBC: "Let's hear it for Boss, ladies, gentlemen and people who mutated during the show!"

A wild engine noise is heard. A huge cargo truck shows its front at the entrance to the ring.

BBC: "What the hell? Oh shit, it's TEST. Look at him! Hands behind his back and armpit hair steering the truck!"

TEST suddenly hits the ring with the truck, goes through the front window and lands in the ring safely on his back hair.

BOSS: "How about that, ladies and gentlemen!"

Not far behind approaches the FROST granny. She's… rolling down the ramp. She eats the truck as it was a slice of bread and enters the ring. Well, the ring enters her (badum tss). The bell rings and the granny takes her clothes off. TEST is ready to vomit! All 100% of the audience are now completely dead, including BBC. But Boss… is fapping in oil! TEST slowly wraps her naked fat body with the hair between his fingers, but it's not enough to even cover one of her nails. Here comes BFFL, and he's ready to wrap! He extends his moustache and wraps the entire body of the granny! BOSS gets angry and also enters the ring. He starts kicking ass with his own and knocks out both TEST and BFFL!

BBC: "It's alright… I'm still alive… ish."

BFFL's moustache hair falls and uncovers FROST's naked body again.

BBC: "Oh shit!" *dies*

The granny gets up, rapes then eats BOSS through her black-hole-vagina and takes out her fucking dick out of her vagina! She starts fapping! Volcanoes are erupting all over the world, the planet is shaking, trees are falling, icebergs are melting, the stadium is completely destroyed, and she's cumming all over the Universe, destroying it and leads to the end of time itsself!

_Well, there was no final result… and never will be. It happens, right?_


End file.
